Spacious

Some days I forget sbout Leukemia. I am happy to rise and sit, enjoy coffee and meditation with Polgrim.

This have definitely shifted. Its s letting go and being present to what arises. S walk. A Joy. An ease. A chore. A yoga or seasonal music.

Happy for bed too.

Just happy to be Here ( be here now) kind of ancient wisdom, haha.

Still sick

Not seriously, just low grade tired and facial congestion. Too tired to eat is not like me.

Been very thirsty these last four days! Parched! Maybe having a fire in the fireplace accounts for some.

Acupuncture

So happy to bigin today! I stayed an hour and Pilgrimwas awesome. Going weekly.

Meditation

This is where my heart is

This is where i am finding peace

I am pulling in for December

Yoga

Accupuncture

Meditation

I am quute tired

Weary of noise

Activity and culture.

Except music

Not sure about church, it's germy.

Dr Bricca

Working through this Hopeful to hope fading when he did not call at the end of the week.

Then we connected and we tslked a while. I was encouraged. He's a good person. 

But too much money for such a dmsll request. $250. An hour gets me 4-5 of nedical recordscreviewed. I am healthy! And would like a bit of botanical support.

I cancelled a physicsl sppt xnd a skype. If my ca were more, maybe.

Snyway i wanted a layer of support not another Dr. I have z PCP and an oncologist. I messsged dr legrsnde and dr kolibaba on howvto 'do something' rather thsn nothing until we meet sgain.

Laura Schissell is going to irder Bone Marrow support for me.

2 i have asked Barbara Hamilton to be my scupuncture buddy. Either way yes or no Dan will get me there weekly.

I sm connected intuitively to shat I need and motivated to move ahead. 

Sll Love

Still feeling conflicted

One word. Cancer

How a word can change everything.

Hopeful to hopeless

Happy to sad

Motivated to lstless

Caring to.uncaring

Alone to loner.

Wantnoth

Ng to do with lufe today, just to sleep

Last two Chapters

My meditation is something I look firward to each morning and night. I feel connected and easily drop into Stillness.

Imer with KK on Tuesday and wrote letters to 4 people, 2 dead, that i needed to let gi of long ago betraysls.

The two living people eill not my receive my apology for their oart in breaking my hearr.

But the eirkbof releasing sorrow frlt goid!

Today Zi finished my book Radical Remission and I guess i am working though it emotionally. I sm sad.

The Chapter is about not wanting ti die and more to the point Wanting ti Zlive, passionately for dome Reason.

I feel lukewarm about this.

I am often lonely, at least the last few days of bad weather and home bound..

Ice and winds, trees falling precludes going for ling walks.

Tomorrow night I will get out.

Now Zi will sleep as I pknder this chspter.